Prince Harry in the hands of Sunny Militia

Your father Sharm el Sheik (Big Ears) is chief of the Windsor militia.

We read  history that your family grabbed power in England five centuries ago.

Now your people pay for your body guards but we still have to pay for our own.

We want your advice on how to run our country.

We want to know how you keep hold of the best land for your family and sell
it at high prices without a rebellion.
Here every barrel of oil we send through a pipe to our port costs a bribe.

Who do you bribe?

If you hold so much good land but your people have not enough houses,
how do you stop them from rebelling?

We know the Redgrave socialist worker militia want you to give your land and
castles to the people, but such rabble should be shot.

It is good that you do not have to declare the real value of your holdings.
We suppose that not even the Queen knows the size of Big Ear's holdings
and what they are worth.

Here we must be in control of oil, never the Shias or the Kurds or our own people.